How JESUS Changed My Life

I was 24 year old, working as a barber in Perry Heights, Ohio U.S.A. I grew up in Akron, Ohio with my mother and my older brother. I loved my job, as a barber, it was one thing that I was good at. I liked making people feel good about themselves with the right haircut. I had it going on, I was making good money. I had a nice car and friends. What else would I need? I was living up life enjoying each moment, spending money on clothes and on myself. Then I started drinking, and doing drugs. After a while nothing made me happy, and I started getting depressed. I was tired of my life, and I felt I had no reason to live anymore. I was not happy with my life and I felt nobody loved me. I felt alone, alone, alone.

One day as was planning to kill myself with a gun in my small apartment. I was washing dishes, and I spoke out into the air, and said “God, I don’t know if my life means anything to you or not, but I’m going to kill myself. Not that I want to but because I feel as I have no other choice, but unless you tell me the answer to two things!” “(No.1), Why was I born, and (No.2) what’s my purpose in life?” I'm going to kill myself with a gun."

Now the Word of God says in : (Jer 29:13, Jer 29:14 you will seek Me and find Me, and when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by YOU, says the LORD). 

I honestly never searched for the Lord with all my heart before as if my life depended on it until this moment. I felt like my whole life was like a big puzzle and I had all the pieces of my life together, except ONE piece was missing in the middle was missing and I din't know what it was. It was like a hole in my soul that was starving. I tried to fill that hole or void inside me with many things; my job, my friends, buying clothes, nice cars, lots of money, girls. Apart from that I was addicted to taking drugs and alcohol. After work I'd drive a 45 min drive back home with my 40 ounce of beer in my hand. And smoking pot. Those things covered up that whole for a short moment, but they never last. And again the next day when I'd awake to find myself in the same pattern for years always having a smile on my face but I was still empty inside.

As I stood at the end of my life planning to put an end to it all I told God those two questions I have to know or else I was going to kill myself. Suddenly, I heard a voice inside me, it said “Go get your Bible”. I said back to that voice, “I don’t have a Bible”. And again that same voice said “Go get your Bible”. I said back to that voice, “I don’t have a Bible.” So finally I thought let me just look as see. I looked everywhere, I couldn’t find any Bible. Then I look down at the bottom of an old bookshelf that was in my living room that I was holding onto as it was my mother's and she was overseas in the Peace Corps. And a small voice said open that draw on the bottom. I thought it was one piece and it didn’t open, but I pulled on it, and what you know my small Bible was in there. I suddenly saw it and remembered that I put it in there when I was about seven years old and have forgotten all about it. A neighbor pastor by the name Mike Sheriff who was working for the Salvation Army gave it to me long ago as a gift.   

So I sat down in my chair with my Bible, and again that same voice said to me; “Open to the book of John”. I didn’t know where the book of John was, so it took some time for me to find it. After opening to the book of John, again that same voice said to me; “Begin to read”. So I began to read John 1:1 on wards… When I got to the 12, 13 verse God spoke to me: John 1:12-13 “ But all who have received Him, to them--that is, to those who trust in His name--He has given the privilege of becoming children of God; who were begotten as such not by human descent, nor through an impulse of their own nature, nor through the will of a human father, but from God.” 

Suddenly, the first time in my life I realized, yes my mom and dad had a small part of me being born. But it was God’s plan for me to be born not man. I am born of God. I use to think maybe I was not planned to be born, maybe I’m just an accident that ended up in this world, and now have to survive on my own.  But No! I am born of God! The suddenly all the small spiritual seeds planted in my spirit growing up all came out, and I came to know the Lord Jesus in a powerful meaningful way. I began to say out loud, “I chose Jesus, I chose Jesus, I chose Jesus! As I was saying this my hand swiped across the page, and I looked down on the pages, and out popped,  John 15:16 “ You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.”  I said out loud, No! I have chosen you! And I looked down, and God said No, I have chosen you! And again I said out loud, No! I have chosen you! And I looked down, and God said No, I have chosen you! Finally I said ok you have chosen me. 

That night alone in my apartment I was instantly delivered from everything! I was set free by the truth of God’s Word. God touch my heart and saved me from taking my life that night. And from that day, my life has never been the same. As I continue to see God's unconditional love and superabounding grace in my life it empowers me through His love to tell others about God's amazing love and grace for them NOW!